Sunday, April 14, 2013

By Accident SUGAR COOKIE KALE CHIPS!


That's right. I said it. It started out as an accident. It was amazing. It needed a name. And so it was called "By Accident Sugar Cookie Kale Chips." I like it.

Let me take you to the very beginning.....

I got my dehydrator! And as I suspected, I fell in love, and went ape shit on Pinterest, scavenging for awesome dehydrator recipes. My first goal was to create those delicious "cheesy" kale chips you can buy at Whole Foods. They're super delicious and nutritious, and I have quite an addiction to them, but at $5.99 a bag, I needed to figure out how to make them myself. Five websites, two trips to the store, 12 hours and 115° later, I nailed it. I used this recipe because a reviewer promised it made identical cheesy kale chips to the Blessing's Alive & Radiant kind (my favorite!) I have to say, I wholeheartedly agree with said reviewer, but I had to add chia seeds (because they're missing from the recipe, but they're listed as an ingredient on the BA&R recipe.)

The "cheesy" kale chips. So good!!!
Roy wasn't the biggest fan of the cheesy kale chips though. He wasn't a big fan of the various cheesy varieties we bought at Whole Foods either, so I didn't take offense. I did, however, ponder if he would prefer sweeter kale chips. Afterall, he loves kale shakes, and those are sweet, so maybe he'd like sweet kale chips! Daniella, the rockstar you met in my last post, graciously gave me some of her recipes (which I will recreate and share with you later.) She also told me to make up my own and try out different ingredients.

I guess you could say I followed her advice, without intending to. You see, I wasn't quite ready to embark on that inventive voyage yet. I thought it would take months before I would feel comfortable throwing things in the dehydrator and coming out with masterpieces. But nay! It took two batches of follow-the-recipe kale chips, and then.....!!!

My valiant Vitamix
Ok I'm getting ahead of myself, so let me explain. I intended to make this recipe, Almond Crunch Kale Chips. I found it on Pinterest, and for some reason, assumed immediately that "almond" and "crunch" implied "sweet." (Maybe it's because usually any nut + crunch in cereal equals too-much-damn-sugar-in-a-bowl. Who knows. Anyway, that was my first mistake. My second mistake was skimming the recipe, reading the ingredient "almond flour" and thinking "oh, I have that in my pantry." Wrong again. I have coconut flour in my pantry. Not almond flour. That's not to say that I couldn't have made almond flour, but I haven't quite mastered my food processor, and the Vitamix isn't the best at making flour. So that recipe was scrapped (or rather, put on hold.)

Coconut Almond Kale Chips
I continued my search on Pinterest and found a recipe for Coconut Almond Kale Chips, and tried them. These actually came out really well. I had every ingredient except for dried cherries, but since I am not a fan of them anyway, I omitted the cherries altogether. Roy liked these chips a lot more than the cheesy kale chips I made earlier, yet he still wasn't quite sold. But just like with kale shakes, I knew I had to continue my quest for "the one." His "the one" kale shake is the Pistachio Ice Cream Kale Shake which I mentioned in one of my earliest posts. So I had to find his "the one" for kale chips too! Or, gosh darnit, I had to make it!

1/2 cup soaked cashews, ready to go!
Inspired by all the kale chip recipes I'd read through, and Daniella's suggestions for some kale chip flavors, I went to the lab, aka kitchen, and set out to invent the most amazing sweet kale chips in the universe! I grabbed five medjool dates, and soaked them in some water. I soaked five dates this time because I felt the chips weren't too sweet with the last batch, and I only used four dates in that recipe. I also soaked half a cup of cashews for a couple of hours. Once those were all nice and soaked up, I tossed them in the Vitamix with 1/2 a cup of almond milk and blended. I walked around the kitchen staring at the pantry, the fridge and the spice rack, and thought about the ingredients I put in Roy's favorite shake. Aha, vanilla extract. I added a teaspoon. I walked around some more. I grabbed the fancy shmancy himalayan pink sea salt we bought, and sprinkled some in. Blend blend. I kept walking (in circles.) Chia seeds! I scooped out a tablespoon of chia seeds and added them to the blender too. At this point, the Vitamix started sputtering some, so I added some of the water from the soaked dates. Just enough to allow the mixture to continue smoothly blending. I thought about how I mistook my coconut flour for almond flour, and brought out the bag. That led me to think about the Almond Crunch Kale Chips recipe again, so I opened the recipe link and and saw it called for 2 tsp coconut oil. I added 2 tsp coconut oil to the blender too. This was either going to be really BOSS or a big fat loss. *snicker*

Five little dates, soaked and ready to be pulverized!
Upon opening the Vitamix lid, the overwhelming sensation of heavenly cookie-like goodness filled my nostrils. I scooped the mixture out, abstained from eating the entire thing with a spoon, and spread it over 2 smallish bunches of kale that I'd previously washed, destemmed and chopped up. I massaged the kale and then added about 1/4 cup of the coconut flour. Then I grabbed a bag of sliced almonds, crushed them even more in my hands, and sprinkled a few handfuls of the so-called almond crunch into the kale. Finally, I felt like the batch was ready, so I cranked the dehydrator to 115° again, and set it for 12 hours. I layered out all the kale pieces onto the dehydrator trays, and sprinkled some cinnamon over a few of the chips on the last tray. Cinnamon can be overwhelming in flavor, so I wanted to try this recipe both with and without cinnamon.


After 11 hours, the chips were super crispy, and the taste was Uh-MAAAZ-ing. Roy agreed, with the eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-his-head kind of approval. Ah, sweet sugar cookie success. I've made the recipe two or three times now, and I can't keep up with demand. Roy has already mentioned we need a second dehydrator. I'm just super thrilled that I found yet another way to get the guy to eat vegetables. Oh, and the cinnamon was a win.

Into the dehydrator they go!
So, to recapitulate, (fancy word for fancy chips)

By Accident Sugar Cookie Kale Chips

1 large or 2 small bunches of kale
1/2 cup almond milk
1/2 cup cashews, soaked
5 medjool dates, soaked
1 TBS chia seeds
1 tsp vanilla extract
2-3 handfuls sliced almonds
1/4 cup coconut flour
2 tsp coconut oil
1/2 tsp himalayan pink sea salt.
Cinnamon (as much or as little as you want)
    Check up on them while they're dehydrating (and munch a few)
  1. Wash kale. Remove stems. Rip up in bite size pieces.
  2. In a blender, add almond milk, cashews, dates, chia seeds, vanilla extract, coconut oil, himalayan sea salt and cinnamon (if you want cinnamon). BLEND.
  3. Add mixture to chopped kale and massage leaves.
  4. Add coconut flour and sliced almonds to batch. Mix well.
  5. Spread kale leaves in a single layer on dehydrator trays.
  6. Set dehydrator at 115° for 12 hours.
  7. Stare at watch woefully for 12 hours, checking on kale chips every so often to devour a piece and hope they're ready
  8. Eat ALL the chips!
I'd love to hear back from you when you try this recipe. I know you'll love it!

Stay tuned. There's something cookin' for next time! (But not really!!!! Gotta love raw!)

-Kale Queen

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