Chocolate Banana Crepes with Strawberry Peanut Butter Cream

Yes, this was my breakfast. No, I will not have to make an appointment at the gym to burn off 1000 calories or mope around the house that my thighs will inflate from such a carb loaded breakfast. Ya know why? Because these are guilt free, sugar free, flour free, thigh-inflating free scrumptious crepes! No I'm not lying to you. There were no magical fairies with pixie dust harmed in the making of this dish. Have I captured your attention? Well alright then!

Last night, after yet another Pinterest fueled evening, I stumbled upon a magnificent blog, The Rawtarian, and found a super easy, two ingredient recipe for dehydrated banana crepes. The making of the crepes took about two minutes and fifteen seconds, and I was back to Pinterest before the couch cushions had time to cool off from my warm butt.

The recipe was simple: Blend 8 ripe bananas with 1/2 cup of water, pour mixture on teflex sheet of a dehydrator tray, dehydrate. The first hour, you dehydrate at 125º F, and then you lower the temperature to 105º F for about 8 hours.

crepe puddles going into the dehydrator

I, of course, have a hard time following recipes to a T, and didn't want to make quite a large batch, so I blended two bananas with a splash of chocolate coconut water. I added in a small scoop of chia seeds, turned on the blender for another two seconds to mix in the chia seeds, and then poured out the mixture in seven small circular puddles on the sheets. I used a plastic spatula to even out the puddles and make a consistent thinness. I have no idea how thin they were but my guess is they were only a 1/16th of an inch. You know what? Scrap that. Just thin it out. We're making crepes here!



Chocolate coconut water is my new favorite thing. It's like non-toxic Yoo Hoo

The crepes were dehydrating for an hour at 125º, and when my timer went off, I turned down the heat to 105º. I watched over them every few hours, and when I was able to peel them off the sheet, I did so carefully, flipped them, and continued dehydrating. I made sure they weren't getting too dry, and finally removed the crepes when they were solidified, pliable and still somewhat sticky. Then, I placed a crepe on a ceramic plate, and layered the seven crepes between pieces of Saran Wrap so they wouldn't be one congealed mess when I was ready to eat them. Viola, and into the fridge they went until morning.

As someone who comes from a Russian family, crepes were often served at breakfast time when I was a kid. They're called blini, and they are conventionally made with eggs and flour. Once they're ready to be eaten, they're topped with sour cream and jam, and then rolled up using the teeth of a fork. Crepes were my breakfast of choice, and as a kid, I didn't have to worry about calorie count and carbs. As an adult whose thighs inflate just from SMELLING bread, crepes have since exited my breakfast menu, and are left at simply being a fond memory.

So naturally, I was super excited to make raw crepes, and of course had no intention other than eating them the way I always have, albeit with minor modifications.

This morning, I removed the crepes from the fridge, along with my tub of Greek yogurt, and grabbed a bag of frozen strawberries from the freezer.

The Greek yogurt would be my stand-in for sour cream, and I had to figure out a way to make the jam. I scooped up 1/4 cup of frozen strawberries and tossed them in the Vitamix, added a splash of water and about 1/2 - 1 TBS PB2, my favorite non-butter peanut butter. Blend blend blend, and I had myself a strawberry peanut butter creamy sauce. It definitely wasn't the consistency of jam, so I'll have to work on that, but it was still really yummy. I grabbed a banana crepe which had time to warm up some from the fridge, scooped on a heaping teaspoon of Greek yogurt, and poured the strawberry cream sauce on top. Then, I rolled it by hand, crepe style.

This is definitely something you don't want to eat with your hands (like I did with the first one before I grabbed a knife and fork) because it's going to be a sticky mess. The banana crepe was very much like a fruit roll-up, sticky and sweet, so the crepe held together effortlessly. The taste was amazing. The chocolate banana flavor went so well with the strawberry peanut butter, and the Greek yogurt was a perfect player in this sweet flavor combination.

I gobbled down two crepes, and an hour later ate a crepe by itself, in all its fruit roll-up glory.

This recipe can easily be modified to a vegan recipe by switching out the Greek yogurt for a vegan alternative, like cashew cream or nut butters. I'm not a vegan though so my personal recipes will probably never exclude meat and dairy, and I'm not a raw eater so I will always have recipes with non-raw ingredients. Not every single recipe but, you know... Some.

I will definitely be making these crepes again with different flavors. Roy is not a fan of the banana, so I will have to figure out a different flavor for him. I'll keep you posted about my picky eater. For now, I can't say I'm too disheartened; it just means I don't have to share! Mwahahahaha

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

Love always

-Kale Queen

By Accident SUGAR COOKIE KALE CHIPS!

That's right. I said it. It started out as an accident. It was amazing. It needed a name. And so it was called "By Accident Sugar Cookie Kale Chips." I like it.

Let me take you to the very beginning.....

I got my dehydrator! And as I suspected, I fell in love, and went ape shit on Pinterest, scavenging for awesome dehydrator recipes. My first goal was to create those delicious "cheesy" kale chips you can buy at Whole Foods. They're super delicious and nutritious, and I have quite an addiction to them, but at $5.99 a bag, I needed to figure out how to make them myself. Five websites, two trips to the store, 12 hours and 115° later, I nailed it. I used this recipe because a reviewer promised it made identical cheesy kale chips to the Blessing's Alive & Radiant kind (my favorite!) I have to say, I wholeheartedly agree with said reviewer, but I had to add chia seeds (because they're missing from the recipe, but they're listed as an ingredient on the BA&R recipe.)

The "cheesy" kale chips. So good!!!

Roy wasn't the biggest fan of the cheesy kale chips though. He wasn't a big fan of the various cheesy varieties we bought at Whole Foods either, so I didn't take offense. I did, however, ponder if he would prefer sweeter kale chips. Afterall, he loves kale shakes, and those are sweet, so maybe he'd like sweet kale chips! Daniella, the rockstar you met in my last post, graciously gave me some of her recipes (which I will recreate and share with you later.) She also told me to make up my own and try out different ingredients.

I guess you could say I followed her advice, without intending to. You see, I wasn't quite ready to embark on that inventive voyage yet. I thought it would take months before I would feel comfortable throwing things in the dehydrator and coming out with masterpieces. But nay! It took two batches of follow-the-recipe kale chips, and then.....!!!

My valiant Vitamix

Ok I'm getting ahead of myself, so let me explain. I intended to make this recipe, Almond Crunch Kale Chips. I found it on Pinterest, and for some reason, assumed immediately that "almond" and "crunch" implied "sweet." (Maybe it's because usually any nut + crunch in cereal equals too-much-damn-sugar-in-a-bowl. Who knows. Anyway, that was my first mistake. My second mistake was skimming the recipe, reading the ingredient "almond flour" and thinking "oh, I have that in my pantry." Wrong again. I have coconut flour in my pantry. Not almond flour. That's not to say that I couldn't have made almond flour, but I haven't quite mastered my food processor, and the Vitamix isn't the best at making flour. So that recipe was scrapped (or rather, put on hold.)

Coconut Almond Kale Chips

I continued my search on Pinterest and found a recipe for Coconut Almond Kale Chips, and tried them. These actually came out really well. I had every ingredient except for dried cherries, but since I am not a fan of them anyway, I omitted the cherries altogether. Roy liked these chips a lot more than the cheesy kale chips I made earlier, yet he still wasn't quite sold. But just like with kale shakes, I knew I had to continue my quest for "the one." His "the one" kale shake is the Pistachio Ice Cream Kale Shake which I mentioned in one of my earliest posts. So I had to find his "the one" for kale chips too! Or, gosh darnit, I had to make it!

1/2 cup soaked cashews, ready to go!

Inspired by all the kale chip recipes I'd read through, and Daniella's suggestions for some kale chip flavors, I went to the lab, aka kitchen, and set out to invent the most amazing sweet kale chips in the universe! I grabbed five medjool dates, and soaked them in some water. I soaked five dates this time because I felt the chips weren't too sweet with the last batch, and I only used four dates in that recipe. I also soaked half a cup of cashews for a couple of hours. Once those were all nice and soaked up, I tossed them in the Vitamix with 1/2 a cup of almond milk and blended. I walked around the kitchen staring at the pantry, the fridge and the spice rack, and thought about the ingredients I put in Roy's favorite shake. Aha, vanilla extract. I added a teaspoon. I walked around some more. I grabbed the fancy shmancy himalayan pink sea salt we bought, and sprinkled some in. Blend blend. I kept walking (in circles.) Chia seeds! I scooped out a tablespoon of chia seeds and added them to the blender too. At this point, the Vitamix started sputtering some, so I added some of the water from the soaked dates. Just enough to allow the mixture to continue smoothly blending. I thought about how I mistook my coconut flour for almond flour, and brought out the bag. That led me to think about the Almond Crunch Kale Chips recipe again, so I opened the recipe link and and saw it called for 2 tsp coconut oil. I added 2 tsp coconut oil to the blender too. This was either going to be really BOSS or a big fat loss. *snicker*

Five little dates, soaked and ready to be pulverized!

Upon opening the Vitamix lid, the overwhelming sensation of heavenly cookie-like goodness filled my nostrils. I scooped the mixture out, abstained from eating the entire thing with a spoon, and spread it over 2 smallish bunches of kale that I'd previously washed, destemmed and chopped up. I massaged the kale and then added about 1/4 cup of the coconut flour. Then I grabbed a bag of sliced almonds, crushed them even more in my hands, and sprinkled a few handfuls of the so-called almond crunch into the kale. Finally, I felt like the batch was ready, so I cranked the dehydrator to 115° again, and set it for 12 hours. I layered out all the kale pieces onto the dehydrator trays, and sprinkled some cinnamon over a few of the chips on the last tray. Cinnamon can be overwhelming in flavor, so I wanted to try this recipe both with and without cinnamon.

After 11 hours, the chips were super crispy, and the taste was Uh-MAAAZ-ing. Roy agreed, with the eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-his-head kind of approval. Ah, sweet sugar cookie success. I've made the recipe two or three times now, and I can't keep up with demand. Roy has already mentioned we need a second dehydrator. I'm just super thrilled that I found yet another way to get the guy to eat vegetables. Oh, and the cinnamon was a win.

Into the dehydrator they go!

So, to recapitulate, (fancy word for fancy chips)

By Accident Sugar Cookie Kale Chips

1 large or 2 small bunches of kale
1/2 cup almond milk
1/2 cup cashews, soaked
5 medjool dates, soaked
1 TBS chia seeds
1 tsp vanilla extract
2-3 handfuls sliced almonds
1/4 cup coconut flour
2 tsp coconut oil
1/2 tsp himalayan pink sea salt.
Cinnamon (as much or as little as you want)

Check up on them while they're dehydrating (and munch a few)

1. Wash kale. Remove stems. Rip up in bite size pieces.
2. In a blender, add almond milk, cashews, dates, chia seeds, vanilla extract, coconut oil, himalayan sea salt and cinnamon (if you want cinnamon). BLEND.
3. Add mixture to chopped kale and massage leaves.
4. Add coconut flour and sliced almonds to batch. Mix well.
5. Spread kale leaves in a single layer on dehydrator trays.
6. Set dehydrator at 115° for 12 hours.
7. Stare at watch woefully for 12 hours, checking on kale chips every so often to devour a piece and hope they're ready
8. Eat ALL the chips!

I'd love to hear back from you when you try this recipe. I know you'll love it!

Stay tuned. There's something cookin' for next time! (But not really!!!! Gotta love raw!)

-Kale Queen

Our Next Big Splurge

In my last post, y'all saw that I finally bought an elliptical machine. It's been great! Roy and I use it all the time and it's been amazing to have it in the comfort of our living room. I know that I'd have to pay for a gym membership for at least two years before I break even on the elliptical, but I have come up with a mini list of reasons for why it's a totally reasonable purchase:

1. I never have to wait on someone else who might be using the machine (well, except for Roy if he happens to want to work out at the exact same time as me, but so far, that's not been an issue)

2. I never have to worry about someone's sweaty drippage remnants on the machine

3. I can plop my heiny in the shower as soon as my workout is over, thereby decreasing the chances of getting some sort of fungal plague or tapeworm of any kind

4. I can watch whatever TV show I want, when I want, however loudly I want, and not be subjected to watching Fox news, or the Jodi Arias trial or whatever the hell other show or network program which happens to be playing at the gym.

5. I can never again make another excuse about "not having time" to work out. Even if I have a spare five or ten minutes, I hop on the elliptical. It's five or ten minutes more than I would have done otherwise.

6. I could have purchased a Coach purse or new car, some sexy makeup at Sephora, or the iPad 4 (because it's got the new plug which is reversible and tiny and so freaking cool!!!) but I purchased gym equipment which is good for my health and well-being instead.

'Nuff said.

The thing is though, at best, exercising is about 30% of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and healthy weight. The other 70% is your food consumption. If you're eating hot dogs and cheese fries everyday, and hitting the gym everyday, you're not doing yourself any favors. So the food I eat is super important to maintaining all the hard work I've put into getting this glorious body I've pined for.

Soooo.... Roy and I are now buying a dehydrator. We already eat tons of veggies in our shakes, but currently, that's the only way Roy eats vegetables. He hates veggies. And I get tired of just eating salads and shakes all the time. The dehydrator brings a whole new level of healthy eating to the plate. (Haha, get it?)

We both love veggie chips though, and when Roy went vegan a few years ago (yes, shocking, I know), he ate lots of dehydrated fruits and veggies. I haven't though. So Roy took me to Whole Foods the other day and we grabbed three bags of different flavored dehydrated kale chips which I found were super delicious and super healthy. And with ingredients like chia seeds, organic apple cider vinegar and lemon juice in them, I don't have to feel guilty about gobbling down an entire bag. But I do feel guilty about the price. At $5.99 a bag, this was the most expensive snack I have ever purchased. So, after much thought, we've decided to splurge (again) and buy a dehydrator.

***Side note: Did I mention we also bought a new freezer? I did manage to snag 10% off at Home Depot on a 5 cubic foot deep chest freezer so I can finally buy fruits and vegetables in bulk when they're in season and/or on sale and freeze them for our kale shakes. $189 with $18 off. Not too shabby...

Moving back to the dehydrator, I've read tons of reviews online, did some research on various brands and different types of dehydrators, checked Consumer Reports (which was useless, because they don't have any dehydrators at all on there), asked friends, and read numerous health blogs. We're not going to even bother to save money on this one, so we're going straight for the leading brand: the Excalibur. It's the 9 Tray Excalibur #3926TB with a timer, currently only sale for $299 (unless I can snag a better offer.)

After making the mistake of trying to save money with the Magic Bullet, Ninja, and then the Health Master blenders, we could have purchased two Vitamix blenders. Instead, we wasted a ton of money on products that broke down, wore out, or just simply didn't deliver on our expectations before we finally got the Vitamix (which, by the way, is the most amazing, glorious, blissfully beautiful blender in the universe.) We've learned our lesson. I may be cheap and frugal, but I consider all this money spent on healthy items an investment on our future medical bills (or lack thereof).

I will however call Excalibur tomorrow to see if there are any rad deals we might be eligible for. Hey, ya never know until you ask. Amirite? With the elliptical, freezer and dehydrator, I'm thinking we're going to be having date-night-ins for the next few months...

Does anyone else have an Excalibur dehydrator? Please feel free to share your recipes, or your complaints/satisfactions.

Til next time!

-Kale Queen