Howdy! I'm the Kale Queen

My friend Natasha dubbed me the Kale Queen and the name stuck. Mostly because "Queen" is part of the title, and that's freaking awesome. But also because I became associated with something healthy. Kale. Yeah! Fiber. Woot!

You may read this and wonder if I'm medicated (or need to be) but hold that thought. The reason I'm quite excited to be The Kale Queen is because my nickname used to be Flabby Gabby. That's just not sexy. I couldn't even be a rapper with that name! Can you imagine?

Hey, yo
Whaddup bro
My name is Flabby Gabby
And I'm feelin' kinda crabby
....

I can't even go on. It's just sad...

So anyway, my story begins too far back and can only be truly told over time. But the gist is, if you haven't caught on yet, I used to be overweight. I was 40 lbs heavier to be exact. (Ok, 35, but it's winter, and I needed some padding ok? Don't judge me!!!)

I tried so many diets, but I never kept up with them after a few days or weeks. Usually it was because I was too hungry, too grumpy, too lazy, too stressed, my weight plateaued, I was traveling somewhere, my period arrived early, my period arrived late, my mother was visiting, Olive Garden's Unlimited Pasta Bowl was back, the McRib resurfaced, I bombed an exam, my boss was mean, or whatever other excuse I had.

So after being miserable for so long and realizing I had spent the last decade unhappy, insecure and FAT, I slowly, (ever so slowly), changed my life.

When I say slowly, I mean I started by adding vegetables to my plate, and not changing anything else. Then I started walking at night for ten minutes. A month later, I tried cutting back on white bread and switching to wheat. Then I walked longer. I hit half a mile. A week later I walked a full mile. Over time, I hit four miles. I chewed gum. I drank more water. I set little goals and met them. I weighed myself everyday. I started drinking kale shakes. And a year later, I dropped down from a size 11 to a 1. I went from 140 lbs to 100. At 5'0, I'm right in the healthy range for my age and my height.

Now I'm in maintenance mode, and I try to stay between 100-105 lbs. I can splurge if I'm on the lower end, and bulk up on more veggies if I'm on the higher end.

I learned how to cook, or rather, I learned to read recipes and replicate them (sometimes successfully!) And most importantly, I found a way to make healthy food yummy. (I try to get feedback from two particularly picky teenagers, and a carnivore-only boyfriend, so you know if I say it's good, it's goooooooood.)

I hope you guys enjoy all the recipes on here, some I take full credit for, and some I find online. I will post the epically delicious success stories, and the horrors too. Mostly because they're funny as hell (like the time I made chocolate black bean brownies and brought them to a Super Bowl party and started dry-heaving when I tasted them). And also to show that it's not always easy, it's not always yummy, but I do my darn best, and I won't give up. I hope I can inspire you, and point you in the right direction. (And make you snort-laugh every now and then.)

Enjoy!!

-Kale Queen